The One-Thing-To-Do List

I am, and always have been, a list maker.  I leave any place I've ever been strewn with a million scrap pieces of paper and sticky notes with things like "forward cold laundry, fold cold laundry, start diaper laundry, clean white pot, empty dishwasher, refill dishwasher, tidy living room, clean toilet, clean shower, clean sink, write in the blog..." and so on.  My lists are usually down to the most minute detail, because otherwise I find myself standing in the middle of a room, not knowing where to start.

But the problem with that is that I never finish a list.  There's just too much detail in them, and so it can leave me feeling defeated at the end of the day, buried under a mountain of un-done to-do's.  So, as of today, I'm instituting a new system: the One-Thing-To-Do List.  Each day, I will only allow myself to put ONE thing on my to-do list, and if I accomplish that, then I everything else will be gravy.  Of course, I'll still have a mental list of all the other shit that needs to get done (take out the trash, vacuum, wash k'tan baby carrier, dishwasher the bottles,...) so it's going to be a bit of a learning curve, letting myself off with doing only one thing.  But I think I can manage.  Today, it was take Ebba for her first swim.  CHECK accomplished. :)  Tomorrow, it will be doing the laundry (this is a bit of a cheat, because there is cold, hot, AND diaper laundry to do.  But I'll give myself a pass if I get just one of those done. :) )

Because I'm such a list-maker, I'm still going to have a running list of all of the things I would like to possibly do, if I get time.  Each day, I'll pick one thing off that list, for the One Thing To Do, and in my spare time, I might pick another little thing from the list. :)

I will keep you all posted on how it goes!

How do you all keep abreast of the bazillion things you have to do as a (ugh) responsible adult?

Fluff Reviews (BumGenius AIO and Pocket)

So, because I'm so vocal about my obsession, people have been asking me a lot about cloth diapers.  Which ones do I use?  Which ones do I like?  Why?  etc.  So, I'm thinking there might be cause to continue my little diaper reviews.

I'll start off by saying I didn't actually even end up buying the Grovia AIO that I reviewed last time.  While I did totally love it, there were others I loved more! So here goes a review of some of those.

These days, Ebba is mainly wearing BumGenius.  These are some of the most popular diapers out there, and for good reason!  First off, they come in super cute prints, like the "Albert."  But, they have other benefits too!  They are very leak-free, as far as I can tell (she's gone 6 hours overnight without a change), and they started fitting Ebba at around 4 weeks.  (Well, that's when we tried the first one...they might have fit her even sooner.)  Both of these diapers can come with snaps or velcro.  I prefer the snaps (pictured), but David prefers the velcro because it's more similar to disposable diapers, and therefore quicker to go on and off.

The varieties I have Ebba in are the:

BumGenius 4.0 pocket

and the:

BumGenius Freetime all in one

As you can see, these two diapers look essentially the same from the outside:

(Except the colour and orientation. :) )  The real difference is that for the pocket diaper, you have to shove the insert(s) inside (the second one is for more absorbency), and for the all-in-one, there is nothing to stuff; you just fold over the two flaps that are already attached.  Both of these are incredibly convenient, and one usually lives in our outing bag. :)

The only drawback to these diapers is their size.  Since these are one-size diapers, that means you can snap up the bottom to make it 1-2 sizes smaller.  Ebba is so little, we've got her on the smallest size, which means that the bottom of the diaper is quite bunched up.  She doesn't seem to mind, and the only drawback is that it means she often fits into a larger size of clothes.  I believe as she grows, the diaper won't look nearly as huge on her, so it's only a temporary drawback!

Neither of these types is organic, but they do have an organic version called the Elemental, if you want to do only organic diapering.  (Of course, you pay for that choice!)

Right now we've got, well, way too many of these diapers because I keep buying them!  But that's just how good they are.  Two bums up to BumGenius!

Next up to be reviewed: the AMP Duo pocket diaper!

BUY ALL THE DIAPERS!!!

Okay, to make up for my attempt at some kind of coherent intellectual post today, I will post this!

Courtesy of The Natural Parent's facebook page

Hopefully my apology is accepted, you guys!  I will refrain from the intellectual-ish posts until my brain returns.  ...which will probably be in about 18 years.  Stay tuned. :)

Fluff Time! (Grovia AIO Review)

It was like Christmas here last week, when a box of all different kinds of cloth diapers from New and Green arrived on our doorstep!  I had completely forgotten that I ordered them.  So, for the past 5 days, I have been stuffing and snapping inserts, sizing the wee things, and changing Ebba's diaper way more often than usual just so I can give them all a try. :)

I figured, since I have them all here, I may as well write up a review for some of them.  First off is the Grovia organic All In One.

For those of you not in the know, there are tons of different kinds of cloth diapers these days -- not just those flat ones that require pins, plastic pants, and a lifetime of origami lessons.  (we do have and love some of that variety too, though.  They aren't nearly as difficult as they look. :))

But, I'm not reviewing those today.  The Grovia I'm reviewing is "all in one," which means it's as close to a disposable diaper as you can get.  You put it on and take it off all in one step - nothing to fold, stuff, or pin.  These usually come with snaps or velcro.  Some brands (like Bum Genius) offer a choice between the two, but the Grovia AIO just comes with snaps, as far as I know.

The interesting thing about this AIO is that, unlike disposables and other AIO diapers, the snapping system is reversed.  The flaps snap inside the front cover, rather than out around the front.  This actually makes the diaper quite a bit trimmer (it's already a fantastically trim diaper).

With some diapers, you have to trade trim-ness for absorbency; sometimes, if the diaper is thin, it doesn't absorb as much...and to get a lot of absorbency, sometimes you need a big thick diaper that has your baby's legs just sticking comically out the sides.  However, with the Grovia, it's trim AND super absorbent!  I haven't had a leak with this diaper yet, and I've been using it lots because I love it and it's SO CUTE!  Just see for yourself.

So, plus 5 stars for the Grovia AIO, and minus some dollars from my wallet to buy more! :)

Back to our regular "adventures in parenting" programming in the near future, so stay tuned!

My Birth Story - Part 3 Final Details

Here is part 3 of my birth story, mostly just little details that didn't make it into the final draft of the story itself.  Please feel free to ask any questions!

Other little tidbits I think it’s helpful to know

• Some puking or pooing can be expected, especially during the pushy phases.  Apparently not everyone experiences this, but it was helpful to me to know that it does happen sometimes so I wasn’t grossed or freaked out when it did.  And, according to my team, birthing professionals are very used to this kind of thing and aren’t squeamish about it.  It’s important not to hold back.  Just picture things opening for your baby and try not to hold any tension.
• Also don’t be afraid to use nipple stimulation to intensify the contractions when you need to.  It can be very effective, and the birthing professionals are used to it, so don’t be shy!
• Eating and drinking during the birthing time helped me a lot too.  First, you get VERY thirsty during birthing.  And second, you really need your energy!  Finally, I think it helped me to remain calm and relaxed, as it was such a normal thing in such an extraordinary time.
• We didn’t tell anyone when my birthing time began.  This was mostly just because it all went so quickly!  We actually had intended to.  However, looking back, I’m glad we didn’t, as it allowed us to take as short or as long as we needed and not worry about getting news to anyone.
• Lastly, the decorating of the birthing rooms.  Before Ebba came, I printed out a lot of my favourite affirmations from the Hypnobabies program, things like “My body was made to give birth naturally,” and “My job is to simply relax and allow my baby’s birth to happen.”  I decorated these with some colourful swirlies and hung them in the two rooms we had designated for the birthing.  In addition, I put up some photos of myself when I was a baby, in my grandparents’ old living room with the whole family around.  They served partially as examples that this birth is connected to all that came before, as well as to remind me of a place where I felt completely relaxed and at peace (my grandparents’ living room with football on the telly and family all around. :) 

The only (tiny) regrets I have, that someone else might want to learn from

• I thought the first stage of birthing would take longer, since I was a first time mum.  Because of this, I didn’t really rest right away.  I figured, I’d just go about my day and then go to bed early, like around 8 (the birthing waves started around 4.)  However, by 8, the waves were to intense to allow much dozing and sleeping, so I went into the birthing time with less energy than I probably should have.  My advice?  No matter what time of day it is when you feel those first little waves, take a nap!!!  Let your partner ready the house and everything else while you sleep.
• Most of the post-birth photos of me are of my first attempts at breastfeeding, because I was very motivated to get her to latch.  However, there are some fantastic ones of her and Daddy just relaxing and looking at each other lovingly.  I wish I had taking more of a moment to enjoy baby before I shoved a boob in her face. :) 

If you'd like to read my birth story, you can go here.  And if you're interested in how I prepared, you can look here.  

Finally, sorry there haven't been any pictures to make these blog posts more exciting!  We're waiting for a new hard drive, because our computer is full, so all baby photos are stuck on the cameras! :)  But rest assured, pictures will be forthcoming asap.

Thanks for reading!

Amanda

My Birth Story - Part 2

Sorry for the delay in sending up Part 2!  We've been having some breastfeeding difficulties lately, so that's been taking all of our time.  We want baby to grow!  But, rest assured, there will be a breastfeeding entry coming soon as well because of this. :)

Part of my birthing team on Day 2
David, Chloe (doula), me and Ebba, Carolyn (midwife) and Carolyn's daughter

But now, without further ado, here is Ebba's birth story.

The Birth

I am going to include as many details as I can in here -- meaning I will not be holding much of my experience back.  This might make things long, or even gross, but I feel it was really helpful for me to know a lot of details of what might happen going in.  I will try to use as much of the positive Hypnobabies language as possible, but in some parts, I might use words that aren’t “sanctioned” by Hypnobabies, but only when I feel it necessary.

Little Ebba’s estimated due date was December 23, and I have to admit I had been getting a bit antsy by then.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore -- I was definitely comfortable -- but I was getting so tired of everyone asking me if/when the baby was coming!  I focused on using my Hypnobabies affirmations to remind myself that Baby would come whenever she was ready, and that that would be the perfect time.  Really, my biggest fear was that I would go so long that I would have to make choices about inducing, and that I might not be strong enough to resist doctors telling me what I “should” do.  Because, even though we chose midwives, if I went to 42 weeks, it would be suggested I talk to an OB.  

Fortunately, the information and Fear Clearing from Hypnobabies, coupled with my Doula and Midwives’ support quelled those fears well enough to allow me to relax and enjoy my last week of pregnancy.  After all, my estimated “due date” was December 23, which is 40 weeks gestation exactly.  But, the average length of gestation for first time mums who do not get induced is 41 weeks and 1 day.  So I don’t know what I was so worried about. :)  (See how important being informed can be? :) )

And, that’s exactly when she was born, a week and one day after her estimated due date.  On December 30, I went out on a shopping excursion with my husband and brother in law.  We strolled around town for about 2 hours, and then, when we were walking home from the bus stop, I stopped at the bottom of the hill and said, “Oh, David, either I have to poo, or I just had a birthing wave (contraction).”  As it turned out, both were true. :)  The wave passed quickly, but still I knew it was different from the practice waves I’d had on previous days.  It was a little bit stronger, a teensy weensy bit longer, and I could feel it moving across my uterus rather than being static.

We came inside and had some food and went about the rest of our day as best we could.  We got groceries, watched an episode of Kitchen Nightmares over dinner, and I had a bath.  All the while, we intermittently timed my waves.  When they were about 4-5 minutes apart, lasting a minute, we called our doula.  This was around 6:30 pm.  Chloe, our doula, told us to continue as we have been and she would call again around 9.  When she called the next time, my waves had intensified to the point where I needed to use my hypnoanesthesia and relaxation techniques.  I could feel the pressure waves wrapping to my back now.  I tried lying down, but during the waves, the pressure and discomfort increased in that position, and at the end of one, I vomited.

So I sat on my birthing ball, bent over the table while David read some of The Hobbit to me between waves.  That’s where I was at 9:30 pm, when Chloe came over to drop off the TENS machine.  I cannot recommend the TENS machine enough!  It was a lifesaver.  After that, the waves were much more manageable and we continued on, dozing and timing intermittently until around 2am.  In that time, I threw up 3 more times, and really that was the most annoying or displeasing part of the whole thing up to this point.  

David made sure I changed position, had some water and snacks, and went to the washroom regularly.  Around 1:35am, I was on the toilet having a wave when I noticed a change.  I had been vocalizing through my waves (like a breathy “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”) up to this point but suddenly my vocalization turned to “AhhhhhhhhUGH,” which signaled to me that I might be beginning to feel “pushy.”  Sure enough, with the next few waves I found the same pattern, and I felt my uterus pushing down.

I credit my Hypnobabies instructor, Jenn, with teaching me what “feeling pushy” actually sounded like.  Because I’m not sure if I would have recognized the feeling.  As it was, though, I was able to recognize it right away and call Chloe again.  

Chloe came shortly after 2am, and she sat with me.  As soon as she realized I was having involuntary pushing (all of, like, 30 seconds in), she told David to start filling the pool and calling the midwives immediately.  I tried lying on the bed again, which was better with the TENS machine, and had some more pushy waves.  Around 2:15, my water broke.  My water breaking was an interesting experience.  I was just letting my body do what it needed to do, when a much stronger wave came.  I felt a great kind of release inside and suddenly I was soaked!  

All the while, I felt a kind of calm excitement.  I knew, from the time I started feeling pushy, that I would see my baby in just a few hours.  She was definitely coming.  David and Chloe gave me enough guidance to help me through some more difficult waves, but also enough space so I could concentrate and control the intensity myself.  Often, I was left on my own, or with one of them just placing a hand on my shoulder or lower back and speaking softly.

Just before the midwife arrived, I think there was a slight problem with the pool because I could hear both Chloe and David discussing in the other room.  It worried me just a little bit, but I was able to think, “Well, if the pool doesn’t work, we can do it here on the sofabed.”  I figured, baby was coming one way or another, pool or no pool, so no use in worrying about it.

My midwife Carolyn arrived promptly, and we pretty much got right into the tub as soon as she talked to me and did a very, very quick exam on the toilet.  In the tub, pushing was so, so much easier, and I began to really feel my baby descending.  The second midwife, Terri-Lynn of Pacific Midwifery arrived then, and David got in the pool with me.

After what felt like only a short while of pushing (David said it was under an hour) Carolyn told me I could reach a finger in and feel the tip of my baby’s head.  I could!  And all her hair!  That motivated me to keep going.  I knew she was only a short way away.  I remember commenting that I felt “very full.”

The intensity increased greatly at this point, during the waves, but between waves, I was so happy and excited that I just relaxed back on David or over the side of the pool, just grinning my head off.  And, even then, I was still directing everyone around me: “Go get some tea! Have you had enough rest? How are you all doing?” etc etc.  I think at one point I might have even asked if they were enjoying themselves. :)  The atmosphere was calm and happy, and we joked and smiled the whole time.

The final hour or so of pushing was a bit more difficult.  I could feel my body getting tired, but I was still excited and happy.  I had completely given control over to my body, because I only had enough energy for that.  Only one or two times, the thought entered my head that maybe I couldn’t go on, but then I realized that that was a stupid thought, because I was in it now and only had beauty to look forward to!  

There were times when she would move forward with a wave and then slip back a bit after the wave stopped.  This was a little bit frustrating to me, and that’s, I think, when my thoughts of not being able to go on cropped up.  In these moments, I just remembered that the slower she moved, the more time my tissues had to stretch and open for her.  I pictured her head massaging my birth canal and perineum open.  And, apparently she descended in record time. :)

Once I saw her head coming more in the mirror and in a photo on the camera, I was quite driven to meet my baby.  I was able to push with the waves and then kind of hold her in place with my own muscles so the next wave could push her even further down.  I held my hands on her head and my perineum so I could feel the exact amount she moved each time.  I also used my fingers to push my perineum slowly open around her head.

Finally, I could feel myself stretching around her head, and it was halfway out!  And then, she paused!  And I yelled, “heck of a place to pause, baby!” with a laugh.  This is the only moment I really would use the word “pain.”  And, after watching my video, I could see the change in my vocalizations from pushing to “ouch!” but it was short lived. :)

As I knew it would, she started moving again.  And, before I knew what was happening, Carolyn said, “Reach down and pick up your baby, Amanda!”  And I was like “Really!?”

So I did, and she was amazing and gorgeous and looked directly at her Daddy (yeah, not mommy), right in the eyes!  Her first cries were mostly just little whimpers and snuggles, but eventually she pushed out all the mucous and gave us a good little assurance of her lung capacity. :)

After a few moments, we transitioned (carefully!) from the pool onto the sofabed in the next room, and I birthed the placenta.  I hadn’t realized how completely exhausted I was until that point, because Carolyn asked me to give a push for the placenta and try as I might, there wasn’t any push left in me!  Somehow, though, the placenta was born, and David cut the cord.  (There is a great photo of me making a grossed out face while David cuts it. :) )

Ebba was born at 5:43 am and was 9lb 2oz.  She was born without any tearing or stitches, and I credit much of that to my Hypnobabies preparation!  And, now, Ebba and Daddy and I are all very happy and healthy.  

If you are interested in how we prepared for the birth, please see Part 1 here.

Thank you for reading!

ps - some (decent!) pictures to come once we get them off the cameras!

My Birth Story - Part 1

Since baby came (already 9 days ago!) I've been working on my birth story.  Over the course of my pregnancy, I've learned so much about pregnancy and birthing and met so many women who have shared their birth stories, I was very excited to share mine.  Hopefully some of the information in it will help other mums have the birthing they want!

So, without further ado, part 1!


Ebba’s Birth Story

I want to share my birth story because I think it was such an amazing experience, I can hardly not share it.  I’m proud of it, I’m proud of my husband and daughter, and I’m proud of myself.  And I want other women to know what is possible.  It’s probably bragging, at least in parts, but in my opinion, any woman who births a child -- no matter how -- should be allowed to brag about it.  It’s one of the most amazing things humans do.  

I've divided the Story into 3 parts, so this will be part 1, all about how my husband and I prepared for the birthing, because the preparation was SO important in how things ended up.  Next will come the actual story itself, and then, finally, segment 3 will be tips and tidbits that didn't make it into the story.

Preparing for birth: Choices

Our birth experience was so much what we wanted, in part I’m sure, because of some great decisions we made early on...and just wonderful things that happened as a kind of domino effect.  Our first great decision was going with midwives instead of an OB.  At the time, we didn’t even know how great a choice that was.  We did it not because of any beliefs about one or the other -- I honestly had no clue about anything at that point.  I chose midwives because my friend had just had twins, and she loved her midwives so I just went with the same ones.  Our midwives were Andrea and Carolyn from Bloom Community Midwives.

From there, everything fell into place.  My midwives caught wind that I was interested in a home birth (again, not because of any beliefs, but because my husband doesn’t drive and I was worried about transport to the hospital!).  We discussed this with the midwives, and they gave me some great resources to read about how and why to do a home birth.  (Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth was my favourite resource!)  After all the reading, I was beyond decided.  I can’t mention enough how important it is to be informed about child birth.  It helps so much during birth to know and picture what will happen.  I never had particularly negative ideas surrounding childbirth (my mum always spoke openly and positively about my own birth), but I still hadn’t realized that I could give birth in comfort and safety in my own home.  I always anticipated a kind of sterile hospital birth, full of strangers.

Once a homebirth was decided upon, we chose a prenatal class that would help us to have the most relaxing, comfortable birth we could.  Our midwives recommended Hypnobabies, a name that at first left us giggling.  But when we found the local Hypnomammas course taught by Jenn King, we knew it was right for us.  Hypnobabies is a very intense course that prepares one in every way for birthing.  I enjoyed learning about the detailed processes that go into birthing, and also enjoyed being “forced” to take at least 30 minutes a day to prepare myself mentally and emotionally.  It helped me to relax in the months leading up to the birth.  The last part of Hypnobabies that I love is how it involved the birth partner (in this case, my husband) in the preparation.  I’m sure that’s why he was so calm and helpful during my birthing time.  (a lot of things happen during birth that could freak the uninitiated out!)

The last piece that we added to our preparation was our doula, Chloe Dierkes, of Urban Doula in Vancouver.  We picked several doulas from the Hypnodoulas list and then interviewed them to see which one we gelled best with.  They were all, of course, wonderful, so our decision was about 99% gut feeling. :) Our guts chose correctly!

These are just the choices that we made so we could have the perfect birthing for us.  That doesn't mean these would be the right choices for everyone, but the point is that the more you know ahead of time, the better your birthing can be.  Take these decisions carefully!

Once I've finished this 3 part birthing story, I will address some further topics in more detail, such as why to have a doula, the difference between midwife care and OBs (at least here in Vancouver), and the issue of "estimated due dates," induction, and real gestational times.  So stay tuned!